We don`t see a certain 'type' of person walk through our doors. Actually, this is one of the most difficult things that we experience while running an anger management clinic - who do we market to? The reason being - everybody experiences anger! From young children to the elderly and everybody in between. It doesn't matter what your career is, how much money you have in the bank, your level of education or your age! We ALL feel anger! Now, some of us are just more able to manage our anger than others.
Although we don't like to group people together and stereotype them, I can say that certain common characteristics force our clients to come knocking at our door. Here are a few of those characteristics:
Communication Problems – These characters have great difficulty in expressing themselves clearly and neutrally. Often they have a learned communication style of either passiveness or aggressiveness and have never learned how to communicate their thoughts and feelings in a calm, assertive manner. Some of these characters may find it difficult to focus on what is being said or listening for long periods of time, which hinders them from retaining everything that is being communicated to them.
High on Expectations - These characters set unreasonable rules and high expectations for themselves and others. They frequently feel that they are constantly let down by both others and themselves. Instead of working towards achievable goals, these characters want it now and they want it right the first time. They believe that mistakes are unacceptable. This type of characteristic puts a lot of pressure on both the character and others and it creates relationships full of insecurity and disdain.
Intolerant to Irritations - These characters find it difficult to put up with even the most minor irritation. They become frustrated and annoyed frequently and are often seen as having a ‘short fuse’. They live with high levels of tension, stress, and even anxiety. These characters find problem solving and other seemingly basic skills very difficult to execute. This type of characteristic causes added stress and low self-esteem, it can also isolate the character.
Highly Impulsive – These characters often speak and act before thinking. They frequently are unable to delay gratification, whether that is the gratification of getting an opinion out of their mouth or the gratification of buying an unneeded item. These characters often have difficulty identifying triggers or behaviours that lead up to anger incidents. This type of behaviour can be unpredictable in relationships, including intimate and professional.
Absolutely Black and white – These characters thrive off of the basis of dysfunctional thinking. By thinking in absolute terms (wrong/right, good/bad, always/never) these characters remain in a juvenile state of perception. Essentially, they set themselves and all others around them to fail due to their ridged guidelines. These characters find that they have trouble with their anger, as they are frequently ‘let down’ by others and themselves.
If you notice that you display these characteristics and behaviours you just need to learn some new skills! It isn't a fast process, but it isn't difficult either! Let us know if you need our assistance and Come Chill Out with The Anger Managers!!!
I am the founder of The Anger Managers, a clinic that provides court-approved psycho-educational courses and workshops to individuals and corporations