I'd love to tell you that I am an avid meditator, but that'd be a lie. I do try my hardest to meditate daily, even if it's only for a few minutes AND I try very hard to meditate every morning, although that doesn't always happen.
I do want to share some meditation secrets with you beginners and leave this an open post for the experts to leave their advice as well. If you have never meditated, or don't frequently do so, then I highly suggest that you develop a practise of meditation in your daily life, it helps to centre and calm you.
First thing is first! ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY! If you are anything like me, your mind runs constantly and it's very difficult to silence it. My first efforts in meditation were met with HUGE amounts of resistance from my over active mind, I often thought "why am I even bothering?!?!" I can now proudly say that on a calm day, I can meditate for approximately 2 minutes without my mind wandering! Don't laugh, that's a big accomplishment! My goal for this year is 5 minutes!
Here are some tips to start your journey to meditation:
1. Don't get discouraged if you don't get it right away!
You WON'T, I repeat WON'T become a Guru, with your own mantra and ashram over night! It's illogical; get it out of your head right now!
Instead, know that you may not be able to calm your mind for even 5 seconds at first. This will take training and constant redirection on your part. It's normal, you will get passed this phase! If your mind wanders, just simply say "ok Mind, we aren't there right now, we are HERE" and gently guide it back to focusing on your breathing. Don't get mad at yourself, or tense, or frustrated, just know that this is normal and we all go through it. This phase will pass!
2. Start with what is comfortable for you.
You don't have to sit crossed legged on the floor, if you aren't comfortable with that. I felt silly doing it like that at first. I started by sitting in a chair with my feet on the ground and my hands on my legs. This was my comfortable spot, find yours.
If you are comfortable with the typical half lotus or seiza positions then feel free to proceed with them. Remember to sit straight! There are tons of great online resources for how to sit while in meditation, check some out. Over all, just find what works for you and run with it!
3. Breathing 101
This is the easy part. Close your eyes, while seated in your comfy spot,
focus on the area where your upper lip meets your nostrils. Breathe deeply in while concentrating on the air traveling smoothly into your nostrils. Breathe out while concentrating on the air now leaving your body. REPEAT! Easy eh? Ummm...not so much, but it will get easy! I promise that!
SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY ANGER PROBLEM?!?!?!
A few things. First off, the obvious, it clams you down. Studies show that meditation significantly lowers depression and anxiety. In turn, this will lower the rate of freak out!
Meditation is also great while in an anger situation! Feel yourself getting your
back up? Take some deep breaths, walk away and meditate! I've went to the
bathroom and done it on the toilet before!!! It works!!
There are many reasons to meditate, many variations of meditation and many cultures that do it. Find one that works for you. I do want to leave you with one more thing that I personally use. When I have an off day, or I'm getting angry, I will escape and meditate (sometimes I do this while lying in bed). I use a visualization method that helps me calm down and get the crap out! I use the above mentioned breathing technique, but I visualize all the air going in as clear, clean and happy energy; I imagine that the air coming out it black, dirty, and negative, angry energy.
I'll leave you with that before this blog post turns into a book!
I am the founder of The Anger Managers, a clinic that provides court-approved psycho-educational courses and workshops to individuals and corporations